Custard

I caved.

The bug got to order her own custard despite the fact that they are the size a small human head, and wouldn't even fit in her belly if I deprived her of a couple meals beforehand; which, of course, I don't do. She is hungry all day long after all, no matter how often I feed her, so I did figure there was at least a shred of hope. Instead I now have a fantastic snack to devour whenever the mood strikes.

Have you ever had moments where you just had to step back, look at your life and re-group? Looking at whether or not the way you spend your time matches with your goals and helps you be the person you want to be? That was my weekend. Filled with introspection and self-correction. I can't say this is new, I am almost constantly looking inward and trying to improve. I happen to think it's a talent of sorts, now that the pesky perfectionism and self-critical side has been laid to rest (for the most part).

I know this is not a trait all share, or enjoy. It is so deeply rooted in my personality that I cannot be me if I feel that it is squashed, and squashed it has been lately. So I took myself back. I'm returning to the me that I love being.

This process is not normally anything to write home about. This weekend however it's been a little painful as I think about which people in my life accentuate the traits I wish to build and which ones accentuate the traits I wish to shrink. So I think, "Self, who is it that you want to be? What do you want others to remember about you and what is it that makes you genuinely, intrinsically, doesn't-matter-what-anyone-else-thinks happy?" Well, I want to be who I am, but a little different. Don't we all? My current social setup is emphasizing the traits I don't like in myself and driving me farther from the person I truly am, so a few changes are in order. Wish me luck, there's already been some growing pains.

Thus, the weekend saw us picnicking in the backyard, napping in the little play tent, arranging a last minute game soiree with long lost friends, prancing around the living room to our typical bouncy album, actually finishing our laundry before the weekend was over, and just being together. Loved. It. We should do that stuff more often.