Anxifrexcitrified* (anx-i-frex-ite-trif-ied)

Today, perhaps as you are reading this, begins my first “official” day of “orientation.” As this new adventure dawns upon me I realize that I have no idea what on earth I've gotten myself into. Since no word known to man adequately describes my feelings on the matter, I created my own. Will did it, why can't I?

In honor of this anxifrexcitrified* state I find myself in, today's “10 on 10” is dedicated to ten things I do before a big something (forgive that I just did 10 things the other day. I'm overachieving this week. or weird. you decide.). The things that I turn to when my emotional state is less stable than the ideal and my nerves are running ragged. We all have those things, don't we? If you don't, you should. Nothing fails miserably to erase what is ailing you than leaning on the old standbys that serve best as mindless distraction.

1. Almost unfailingly, it all starts with a hot shower. Subconsciously made longer than usual as I let time melt away in the warmth and inadvertently deep condition my hair for no reason other than I almost forget to rinse off the conditioner.


2. After which I am really craving something cool and delicious. Instead of the fresh pineapple which is so sweet to satiate any craving, I reach for the raspberry sherbet. Which I eat with my hair up in a towel while I'm...


3. painting my toenails because a fresh coat of color always gives me a sassy edge of confidence. Of course the sherbet and the toenails are nothing without...


4. Cary Elwes playing in the background in a there's-no-way-you-can-take-yourself-seriously-while-watching-this movie kind of way.


5. During which I decide that all this nonproductiveness is really not helping the mood so I throw in some laundry hoping with all my heart that I actually remember I did that and get it in the dryer sometime in the next millenia.


6. After which I head to the internet, devoid of purpose, and end up spending way too much time on petfinder.com dreaming about the pup that would be JUST PERFECT for us, if only we had a house that allowed pets, and a yard, and the money for it, and oh yeah, the time to take care of one. Which gets depressing and leads to...


7. just turning the darn thing off, Finally!!


8. But it's not yet the time I need to go crash so I pick up the guitar I purchased forever ago and still don't know how to play and practice basic chords for 5 or ten minutes or however long it takes to make my fingers think they are dying a slow painful death.


9. So I put the geeetar away vowing that I'll practice more because "really, how hard can it be?" and pull out my journal instead. Stress and time are always good for some in depth soul searching, even if it does almost always lead to entries that are more desperate and needy than normal, or even are warranted by reality.


10. After which i think "Enough already!" pull out my box of old letters and wax nostalgic over the friends and acquaintances of days gone by. Which puts me in a calm state and allows my mind to slow considerably, thereby making me lay down just until I actually get tired and end up falling asleep later than I'd planned so I can wake up fifteen times in the next three hours because I'm just certain that I overslept the alarm.


Don't you just love new beginnings?


*Anxifrexcitrified (v.): a state of synchronous feeling including anxious, freaked, excited, and petrified. This state often accompanies a major life change, emotional confusion, lack of social contact, or sudden realization at the absence of Swedish fish on the premises. Can usually be rectified by a string of comforting, yet mostly useless, activity and a small frozen creamy indulgence. Occurs sporadically and accompanied with long to do lists that get lost before they see a single check mark.