All I want for Christmas (warning: long rambley post)

this past week has been quite a good one. i officially finished my last undergraduate finals (ever!), celebrated Christmas with the munchie, and spent time with some good friends. now as my cousin and i are trying to plan our family's Christmas dinner, my mind is really wandering around a lot of holiday thoughts.

first off, though i know my parents are have gifts under the tree with my name on them, i really don't want anything. oh, sure, there are things i'd love to have (a silpat, a large microplane grater, maybe a dresser that actually has enough drawer space), but i really don't need or want anything. i've been feeling this way for a while, but is was compounded this weekend by a couple contrasting experiences.

first, my friends N&J had a holiday party. at this party they spread the word about a family that they were sponsoring for a sub-for-santa. a family with two unemployed parents and seven children, who had until this economic downturn been financially stable and independent, but as a result of two incomes related to the housing market are struggling beyond anything they ever imagined.

at the end of this party, one of the families in attendance contributed quite a sizable donation to the sub-for-santa project. it's touching, really.

then on saturday i drove aeryn to meet her dad. as we were chatting over lunch, it was mentioned that a particular gift he was hoping to get her but had been unable to find was now available for purchase. it's a sizable gift. one she doesn't need or that i would ever purchase, yet something he has wanted for a long time to do for her. the cost? exactly the same as this other family contributed to help provide a Christmas for complete strangers.

i have been really struck by the irony of these two days, back to back. i've pondered a lot on the power that money seems to have. money itself is not inherently good or evil, but rather how it is used may accomplish a great range of purposes. what is my purpose? what end is supported by my choices in spending?

these two days just strengthened my resolve. i don't need anything and i don't want to believe that i do. i have shelter overhead and food in the cupboard. i have clothes on my back and a reliable vehicle. i'm working towards establishing an employment future that will not provide a lavish living but will provide the necessities. at Christmas and everyday, this is all i could ever ask for, but i do hope that one day, i can be like the generous stranger i met at a Holiday party, and be so quick to give so much of myself to bless the lives of others.